Just remember, during this time of the year plenty of people commit suicide, because they feel alone and unloved. Do you shut out people in need of Spiritual guidance? On the other hand, do you want to stay clueless to other people’s feelings, even when their words contradict your own? One of the things I hate seeing in the news during this season is hearing stories of attempted/committed suicide, and seeing the family members faces on camera wondering why. Thank you for your comforting responses and your good nature. It is actually therapeutic to discuss/vent these things in an open forum such as this one, for my own sanity. In the past, I have at times written my feelings on paper and documented things I would like to say to my so-called circle or friends as a way of releasing this anger within me. However, after reading it and seeing how badly I have written about them, in the end I end up throwing the paper away, seeing things from their point of view, (which is their avoidance to deal with anybody else’s problems, but their own) even if they do act clueless about my feelings and their inconsiderate ways. My original intension was to share in my good blessings for no reasons at all, but through the years and through some hardships I noticed something very strange with people. Have you ever heard of the term Fair Weather Friends? Well, I have and it’s not something I would wish on anybody, but they are there. It is amazing when you look at it… It didn’t start out this way, doing favors and all. Everybody is your friend when you do them favors, but ask them to do you a favor and watchout. People do rotten, terrible things and I am not going to take it anymore. Why bother? If putting your hand on fire burns you, why bother putting your hand in the fire in the first place; I guess my patience got the better of me. With that, I am not (refuse to) continuing with the status que for their benefit. As you can see, the enthusiasm to be helpful has always been there, but in return where is the enthusiasm for me when I want to do my own family gathering? On the other hand, when I want to do an event of important to me, the FAVOR FOOL can’t find a FOOL of his own, No one is helpful to the FAVOR FOOL, and because he doesn’t matter, all you care about is a successful gathering and happy people. So you see, it is a never-ending cycle of internal suffering I have… With my giving nature and hidden feelings, what can I do to make them see me in a different light? Cancel Thanksgiving? Even Christmas?

On the other hand, should I sulk yet another year, being their FAVOR FOOL while I go through their thoughtlessness year after year? I can go on and on with what’s been done to me throughout the year, but that would be pointless (I can assume you get it by now), but doing favors has always been a double edge sword for me. There’s no reward for doing favors, except the result of making someone else happy, but why is it that when I ask for favors people tend to disappear or avoid helping me out, are they that clueless! It seems I am only to be found when something or someone is needed for their benefit. This situation has reached a point where feeling are being hurt all around and there’s no end in sight. Everyone knows they can come to me for favors and advice, but when I seek the same from them, everyone scatters (especially when they know the answers or have the time). Have you ever felt bad during the holidays? Just thinking… God Bless

-- JohnQ_Public (John@aol.com), December 01, 2003

Answers

People say to count your blessings and use this time of year to reflect on the good things in life, but when I think of the good things I have done, I am constantly reminded of all the bad things done to me all year long. Right now, I have mixed feelings about spending time and hosting family gatherings with these people and I feel if I request a favor from any of them, that I shouldn’t be a bother or an inconvenience, considering how I am with them.

Note: Bear in mind that “I” host all the family gatherings (Their thoughtfulness to offer their homes for family gatherings is beyond my comprehension) holiday after holiday, year after year.

This year will be a year they will remember!!!

Now that everybody had a chance to catch up again… I will tell you what happened during Thanksgiving.

1) The guests arrived early, came empty handed and didn’t assist in the kitchen. 2) The guests picked at and ate food during the cooking without saying Grace (half the turkey was gone before the table could be set). 3) The guests bragged about their good fortunes and angered each other (as usual). 4) The guests completely missed an opportunity to send time with their elderly father who by the way is recently widowed and at a very high state of depression. 5) In addition, most of all, the guest complained how much trouble hosting a gathering at their house would be as a way to avoid being asked to spend time at their homes for the Holidays.

I just give up!

-- JohnQ_Public (John@aol.com), December 01, 2003.

Veronica, please get caught up by reading part one of John Q Public's saga, which went dormant on November 26.

-- (here@to.help), December 01, 2003.

John, just don't let yourself be silenced because of the last post. You have right to speak as much about your feelings as anyone else. And I'm sure you will find good souls here who will listen and answer and discuss with you. Just go ahead.

-- Veronica Trinity (VerT@collos.com), December 02, 2003.

Moderator, please don't give in to blackmail. ("I'll kill myself if you delete these messages.")

As E.C. Chavez stated above, "Dear Moderator: Here is a good thread to delete. Do it now before any serious catholic contributes. PLEASE."

JQP just wants attention. He has no intention of committing hara-kiri.

-- (here@to.help), December 03, 2003.