My daughter was baptized and made her First Communion. She also attended catholic schools for several years in her youth. I always took a very active role in her religious education (i.e. taught CCD every year and in most cases the classes were held in our home). We moved about every 7 years to different parts of the country. When it was time for my daughter to be confirmed - we had just moved to a new town. I took her to the youth group and it was a huge group. She refused to attend again. Finally she agreed to go to confirmation classes being held in private homes in the neighborhood and when we asked the neighbor if our daughter could be in the class, she said she already had too many in her class. Since my husband and I had taught many classes in our home, this was a real turn off to our daughter. We then tried to take her to a Jesuit church for instruction. After two classes, she again said she was not getting anything out of it and would not return. She continued to go to Mass with us every week throughout highschool, but never did consent to confirmation.

She went far away to a college that was very liberal. She did not practice her faith except when she came home and went to church with us and she turned against the church. Her comments were that she had seen so many hypocrites that were catholics and if this is what catholics were like, she really did not want to be a member of the church. I tried again and again to talk to her, but she truly became angry if I would even try to approach the subject.

Now she is engaged to be married. She is engaged to a boy whose mother was brought up in a catholic school and yet who is not anymore a catholic as she married a divorced man. My daughter sees this as another reason where catholics are unfair in that her future mother in law essentially cannot fully practice her faith.

With a wedding being planned, I still would hope my daughter could somehow have her wedding blessed by a priest. Do you think it would be a consideration for my daughter to have an ecumenical ceremony with a priest and a minister. If this could be considered, do you know how we could begin the process. She wishes to get married in the college chapel of her school (Duke University). Thank you.

Troubled

-- dianne jordan (dnpreif@verizon.net), April 16, 2004

Answers

Bump to New Answers to invite comments.

-- (bump@bump.bump), April 17, 2004.

I can tell you how to begin the process - you will need to talk with the priest, as soon as possible, since the wedding planning is already underway. I don't know the specifics regarding an ecumenical ceremony, but the priest will be able to answer all your questions, and more important, get the wheels turning on the Catholic parts of the process.

Your daughter and future son-in-law will be required to attend some Catholic pre-marital classes, e.g., Engaged Encounter, and will be strongly encouraged to get confirmed prior to the wedding. Getting married in Duke's chapel shouldn't be a problem.

-- Mark (aujus_1066@yahoo.com), April 17, 2004.

Jeese Frankly i think your daughter is right. Catholics, Christians, Jews and all of the religions are pretty much all hypocrites. Shes an adult and should be able to make her own choices. You all base your faith on something that has become more and more corupted through the past 2000 years.

-- ... (1111@1111.com), April 21, 2004.

1111,

Seems to me you have embraced Despair. This is just another temptation to abandon trying to live as Christ expects and has asked that we do.

Pray for hope and understanding.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), April 22, 2004.