yes, i am not catholic but the man that i will be marrying is. he told me that since i have been married before, that we can not be married in a catholic church. but i divorced from that marraige because my spouse was engaging in sexual relations with other woman and was abusive towards me. so wouldn't that give me grounds for divorce and allow me a marraige inside a catholic church?

-- alice g. moring (s204331@cmuonline.net), September 20, 2004

Answers

Response to im not catholic but the one i will marry is

Your husband-to be is wrong. If you are not catholic then you are not bouHi Alice,nd by your previous marriage. But if you are converted to catholic and after baptism and you become a catholic you can not re-marry another person unless you are nullified from previous marriage by the church (special marriage court).

The one to be questioned in your question is him, your husband-to- be. As he is catholic and if he were married before he CAN NOT marry you inside the church is one thing but the other thing is he will be illegally (in the church's eye) married to any womwan if his previous wife (married & blessed by the church) is still alive.

He can nullify his legal marriage - to his previous catholic wife if he has had one before - by lodging an application with the church special family/marriage court. Normally the there is one at the archdiocese. His application must satisfy conditions set out by the Church to be considered. Good luck !

-- Peter (muongkhau@yahoo.com), September 20, 2004.

Response to im not catholic but the one i will marry is

Sorry Peter you're wrong. ANY previous marriage by either party, whether it was a Catholic marriage or not, must be declared null by a Church tribunal before a Catholic marriage can take place. If there are no valid grounds for annulment of the previous marriage, no marriage in the Catholic Church can occur until after the death of the previous spouse.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), September 20, 2004.

Response to im not catholic but the one i will marry is

Steve, So you are saying that the Church won't accept the divorce paper and its civil court decision ?

I find it a bit starnge as the priest is representing the church and also the civil marriage celebrant. That why the celebrant priest can issue the Marriage certificate to the couple. I think there are 2 sides here, civil and religion. If the church can represent the government/civil authority issueing the Marriage certificate then why they won't accept the legal divorce paper providing from the marriage candidate and have to go through their own anullment process ?

I may be wrong here ? I need to check this things out with a friend of mine who is a priest in marriage law. I sure to see something before that he explained in a Q&A to back up my reasoning. Will come back to you on this. regards,

-- Peter (muongkhau@yahoo.com), September 20, 2004.

Response to im not catholic but the one i will marry is

No, the Church will not accept divorce, because Jesus Christ, the founder of the Church, forbids it. "What God has joined together no man must divide". A civil divorce has no effect on a valid Christian marriage. It can have an effect on a marriage that is merely a civil contract with no sacramental dimension. (What the state alone has joined together the state can divide). However, the state has no authority over anything sacramental. "Their own annulment process" has nothing in common with divorce. The purpose of the annulment process is not to dissolve a valid marriage, but to determine whether there ever was a valid marriage.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), September 20, 2004.

HI, Peter. My friend was a non-Catholic who was divorced from her husband and wanted to marry her current husband who IS Catholic. Before they married she had to annull her first marriage. Even though neither were Catholic the marriage was valid in the eyes of the Church. However before an annullment could be done the Church had to review the case to see if there were grounds. She was able to get hers on the grounds that he was unfaithful and he beat her horribly. She had something on her poor body broken about every week. A nose, an arm, teeth....Something all the time. So her annullment was granted rather quickly. Have a good day and God bless.

Thanks and glory be to God!

-- Suzanne (james-betsy@sbcglobal.net), September 20, 2004.

Sorry Suzanne you must be mistaken. Infidelity and wife-beating are terrible sins, but they are not grounds for annulment. Your friend’s purported marriage must have been annulled for some other reason. As Paul said, an annulment is a declaration that no valid marriage ever existed. It is quite a different thing from a divorce, which is a dissolution of a valid marriage. The Church does not allow divorce.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), September 20, 2004.

Although neither infidelity nor violence are in themselves grounds for annulment, an ongoing pattern of such behavior beginning shortly after the wedding can serve as evidence that the offender initially lacked either the intention and/or the capacity to honor the marriage vows, and that can be grounds for annulment.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), September 20, 2004.

As terrible as this sounds, these types of allegations are often manufactured by the leaving spouse. It is often the case that a leaving spouse can be driven to near insanity by hatred when they accept how Satan tempts them with malice. Evidence from such situations needs to closely examined before it can be properly discerned if the evidence is truthful and sufficient to prove grounds for nullity.

-- Pat Delaney (pat@patdelaney.net), September 21, 2004.

Well, I can remember about a week after they returned from their honeymoon she wound up in the ER with a broken nose and needing stitches in her right eye. (I was her nurse.) Then it seemed as if she were a regular visitor sometimes every week; sometimes every other week, but always needing stitches or sometimes she had a broken bone. The last time he beat her before she left (came to our house to stay) she had a broken arm, 4 cracked ribs, 3 teeth missing, and various cuts that had to be stitched and several bruises. Poor lady put up with this for almost 3 years. She had been divorced for 2 years before she met her husband now, and she told about the abuse and infedility to the Church when she petitioned for her annullment. It took over a year and a half from the time she started the proceedings to get it. So, Paul may be correct. The Church may have viewed that he never intended to honor the vows and be a proper husband. I hope everyone has a good day today. We are desperately needing rain. It hasn't rained in over a month and the crops are burning.

Thanks and glory be to God!

-- Suzanne (james-betsy@sbcglobal.net), September 21, 2004.

One and a half years to nullify?!!?? Doesnt that seem ridiculous? This basically puts your wedding off at least 2.5 years then. My fiance is Catholic, I was brought up that way, but not confirmed. She wants a Catholic wedding, but now we are told the same thing. Since I was married, divorced 7 years ago, they need to 'investigate' My ex turned into a drug addict, cheated on me, and married an ex convict who wanted to "kill me". Now the church wants to contact them regarding nullifying that marriage so i can re- marry now? I don't want ANYTHING to do with those people! Nor do I want them to know anything about me or my fiance or wedding... why would this be their business? This whole nullification thing is ridiculous and needs to be re-thought by the present day Catholic church. It basically postpones the union of 2 people into marriage, and in my case may actually jeapordize my life. I should have just told them I was never married. It was a 'new age' confidential wedding anyway... probably wasnt even valid to begin with, but my point is.. this is incredibly old-school thinking... dark ages stuff. This is why so many people leave the Catholic faith. The restrictions & rules & rituals are sometimes ridiculous. Sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone. I just think it's hypocrital of them to quote the Bible, "what God has joined together let no man separate". - So a divorce doesnt count. - But an investigation by the church does... even though the chruch is made of men? Hello? If thats the way we'll be treated, maybe it's time to find a new religion. Good luck with yours though!

-- dan (danimaljunk@hotmail.com), October 09, 2004.

It is precisely because the Church accepts "what God has joined together let no man separate" as true and sacred, that they are obliged to determine to the best of their ability whether or not a previous marriage falls under that description, before allowing a subsequent marriage to occur.

In the annulment process, you don't have to have any contact with your ex-wife or her present husband, nor do they need to know anything about you or your fiance or wedding. Your former wife will simply be given the option of providing her side of the story regarding your marriage to her, in writing. If she chooses to provide any information, it will be considered in making the decision. If she chooses not to supply any information, the process will go forward without her input.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), October 09, 2004.