Hi, I am 18 and Catholic. However, my father has done a poor job of raising me Catholic and I have not been confirmed yet, and i rarely go to church. I am wondering if I marry another Catholic (who is confirmed) is it possible to recieve a "Cathloic Marriage". My girlfriends parents have told her that both people have to be confirmed...but I am actually quite sure they don't.

If you do know (and are 100% sure) if I have to be confirmed to have a Cathlolic marriage, if the person that I want to marry is confirmed, please respond.

Thank You

-- Daniel Tomassi (Daniel_t86@hotmail.com), September 21, 2004

Answers

Response to Is Conformation needed for Catholic Marriage

Technically you don't HAVE to be confirmed to be married in the Catholic Church. But the obvious question is, if you want to have a Catholic marriage, why don't you WANT to be confirmed? And why do you "rarely" go to church? You can blame your parents for what happened when you were younger, but you're a grown man now. It's up to YOU to embrace your faith as an adult. If you're not willing to do this, do you really think you're mature enough to enter the sacrament of marriage?

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), September 21, 2004.

this is to steve sorry to sound rude but if you are so catholic why are you judging others. If people want to be married in the house of god they should be accepted not turned away because you dont attend church on a regular basis. Read bewteen the lines church doesnt necererly need to mean go to church church can be anywhere as long as your talking about the lord.

-- pearl cross (pearlcross@sbcglobal.net), October 17, 2004.

Well Pearl,

That is true of Protestant churches, which are merely meeting places. A group can "fellowship" just as well at the beach as in a church building. However, a Catholic Church is the repository of the physical presence of Jesus Christ. He is there in just as real a sense as He was present to the Apostles. If you heard that Jesus Christ had come again in the flesh, and was preaching on the steps of the town hall, would you run to the town hall as fast as your legs would carry you? Or would you say "I can hear the Word of God at home, why bother going downtown"? Jesus is present in the flesh in every Catholic Church, and when we take important steps in our Christian lives we do so in His intimate physical presence. If we have ignored the fact of His presence there for years, what is the motive for suddenly wanting to marry in that same presence which has meant so little to us for all that time? Usually the motive in such cases is purely social, and social preferences do not dictate the Church's teaching regarding the most sacred of human experiences - the Sacraments.

-- (PaulCyp@cox.net), October 17, 2004.

I didn’t judge anyone Pearl, I was asking Daniel to judge for himself why he wanted to be married in the church and why he didn’t want to be confirmed. Saying “it’s my father’s fault that I’m not a good Catholic” doesn’t sound like a mature adult to me. The Church is not a cafeteria where you only choose the things on the menu that most appeal to you.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), October 18, 2004.

I was never blaming my situation completely on my father. But also, its not like I made a conscious decision one day in my life not to go to church, it was more a result of my upbringing. I would like to go to church and to be confirmed. Yet, being 18 is not the ideal time, since I have little free time (I am in first year university) and the nearest Catholic church would take close to an hour to get to on the bus (I also no longer live with my parents). Still I do feel guilty that I am not confirmed and I still try and be a good Catholic boy by saying my prayers every night. I would like a "Catholic Marriage" because I do believe in most Catholic theology and eventually I would like my children to be raised Catholic, and I will actually get them confirmed since it is my responisibility as an adult.

But honestly give me more credit; how many of you would even care about your religion if you were not raised Catholic by your parents? Would you teach yourself to pray and research you're religion? Would you even bother raising your own children Catholic? I'm sure you would say that you would of course do all these things, but it is more probable that you would give up Catholicism. That is the trend in the modern world. In a time when most people are abandoning their faith I am at least making efforts to repair what has happened during my upbringing, and will ensure that my children are raised properly. So please don't try and lecture me on why I am not suited fit for marriage in the Catholic Church.

-- Daniel Tomassi (Daniel_t86@hotmail.com), October 19, 2004.

Daniel if that remark is directed at me, I certainly am not trying to lecture you or to tell you you are not fit for a catholic marriage. In fact you sound like you probably are and God bless you for your efforts. I was just suggesting some steps you might consider taking to prepare for it.

Sorry but I find it hard to believe that there is a university in the free world which has no Catholic church within an hour’s drive. (I apologise if you live in a Communist or Islamic-law country.) Anyway if you phone your nearest Catholic parish I’m sure you could make arrangements to prepare for confirmation, which I would also recommend as part of your preparation for marriage. It’s quite common for adults to be confirmed, you’ll probably find yourself with a group of other adults preparing for it.

Yes I thank God every day that I was raised Catholic by my parents. But beginning when I was 14 or 15 I have made a series of decisions to be an active practising Catholic. I could have chosen otherwise, as most of my brothers and sister did. And I know plenty of active practising Catholics whose parents were anything but.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), October 19, 2004.