i am catholic and the guy i love and care about is muslim. recently we decided to be just friends because he is aware that my parents wouldn't approve if i married outside of my religion. my mom says that a priest wouldn't marry a muslim to a catholic, and therefore we wouldnt really be married in our religion and it would be a "sin". i've heard many different things from people and i am very confused. i read in past responses that it is possible to get married in the catholic church to a non-catholic... my question is how? would a priest really marry a catholic to a muslim? what exactly would happen in the ceremony? please help, thanks a lot.

-- Crystal (cryssycutie19@aol.com), October 06, 2004

Answers

Response to is it possible for a catholic to marry a muslim?

Dear Crystal,

Sure it is possible - but the Muslims don't believe what Catholics believe when it comes to what Marriage IS! So before getting that civil ceremony done, you'd better ask this guy what he thinks marriage is about, what family life is like, what the man and woman life together are like, what his expectations are etc. ...

Just saying "hey as long as you're stupid and don't know your faith and get some equally stupid liberal (sorry for the reduncy) priest to sign off, everything will be OK" is maddness. EVERYTHING WON'T BE OK if you think Marriage is X while your guy thinks it's Y.

A good friend of my family married a Muslim guy. He was charming, nice, sweet, the kindest guy you'd ever meet...until they got married and he took her back to the old country to meet (Surprise!) his other wife and kids. Then she was wife #2, and since her family wasn't wealthy or Muslim, she had no rights in the eyes of his family (which is paramount in that culture).

Eventually she escaped and returned to the US where she lives to this day single and afraid of him.

But maybe this is an anomaly. Maybe your guy is different. Fine. Check it out. Get him to come clean with all his beliefs and expectations - have him paint a picture of what his parents are like - who wears the pants and what that means.... what will raising children in that home be like? What influence will your in-laws have?

On holidays - will you celebrate Christmas and Easter or just Muslim feast days? Your children, will they be brought up as good Christians or good Muslims? Will they be allowed to learn about the Gospel or will they be sent to the Mosque school instead?

What's your idea of a vacation? Hanging out with husband and old friends, treating women and men as different but equals or different and unequal? What would a typical day or week or month be like? Do the women (his mom, aunts, sisters) hang only together and never see their husbands or never go out with them?

What kind of Muslim is he (Shiite or Sunni, Wahabi or secular?)

These are crucial questions to get answered right now. Whatever you do, don't take the "happily ever after" mind-less pap being bandied about by people who want to sound nice and sweet but don't know what the heck they're talking about.

There's no easier way for people to become miserable than for them to get caught in a bad marriage because no one asked the right question BEFORE hand.

I hope for your own health and happiness (and his) that you get final answers on these questions.

-- Joe (joestong@yahoo.com), October 06, 2004.

Response to is it possible for a catholic to marry a muslim?

The question is ***can*** a Catholic marry a Muslim and of course the answer is yes. The real question ought to be ***should*** a Catholic marry a Muslim? Many of the questions out forward in this thread should be answered and considered before you go through with any wedding.

-- Jack Sammon (romanrite@aol.com), October 06, 2004.

Response to is it possible for a catholic to marry a muslim?

Hello Crystal,

You might find these previous threads to be of interest:

Vatican Warns Catholics Against Marrying Muslims
I am a Catholic female single parent can I marry a Muslim man?.

God bless,

-- Emily ("jesusfollower7@yahoo.com), October 06, 2004.

Crystal, I know what you are going through. I am a male muslim whereas my GF is a Catholic she is very strong on raising a kid Catholic and marrying in a church... She is one sided with her decision. I think anything is possible, 2 people can do as they feel as long as they compromise....

Unfortunately the girl I love will no longer be a part of my life.... Last night I made a very tough decision... I really hope things work out for you they havent on my end

Sincerely Billy

-- Billy (giglava1223@aol.com), October 13, 2004.

Yes U can Marry , Offcourse , I am marrie dto a christain Girl and we are the most happiest cople in the World

Just have love and every thing will be okay

Good luck and dont be afraid from any thing U r free in a free World

bye bye

-- Mohamed (cryssycutie19@aol.com), October 16, 2004.

Hi Crystal,

I was born & raised Catholic in this country. I married a Muslim man., whom was born in a Third World County, but came to the states when he was around 14 or so. Once involved, we had a difficult time, because his parents didn't agree with the relationship. Nevertheless, we married without their blessings, and we now have a five year old son. It's very hard ignoring what is so obvious, which is the indifferences of both cultures. It really takes a strain in our marriage, and love cannot conquer trust, commitment, loyalty, & your own beliefs. What you have to ask yourself is if your ready to make changes in your life? I promised my husband before marriage that I was going to convert, but now almost seven years later I cannot find in my heart to change into something that I am not ready for. He cannot understand it, but this is just how I feel. Of course problems arises, but you have to stand for what you belief & don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Good Luck :)

-- CC (Carmen9979@aol.com), November 05, 2004.

CC,

Hopefully you will never be "ready" to make such a move. Understandably you want to respect your husband and his right to his own beliefs. But a conversion from what is true to what is false cannot be the will of God.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), November 05, 2004.

I am a single mother of one, and dating a man who is a secular Moslem ( confused about his Faith, and not religious). He has a strong cultural tie, though. He is very supportive of my strong Catholic Faith, and attends Mass with me. We are currently deciding if Marriage is right for us. I go back and forth, as although he is open to my Faith, I have a disdain for Islam, after researching it and its beginnings. He is unaware of any of its history, and is ignorant to most of the beliefs, but I still doubt, at times, if it will work. I trust him and he is virtuous and good ( he is a CAtholic but doesn't know it!). That is not to say that there are not good Muslims, I am sure there are, but sometimes it just destroys me that he doesn t see Christ and the Church it all it beauty. I love him more than anything (except my Faith). Anyone with advice? Kristyn

-- kristyn kosens (ryleighm@optonline.net), January 03, 2005.

Best advice for the time being, Krystyn, is to pray.
Place all in the loving hands of Our Lord; offer yourself to His most Sacred Heart, and let Him know every detail. But above all; make it clear you desire HIS choice and HIS will. Nothing can ever be accomplished except by His Will. You already know that.

Many good souls just like you and your boy friend proceed with great decisions and never ask Our Saviour a thing. They expect to carry out everything simply on guts, or, as so many whimsical souls act-- ''Love is the best answer, just our love.''

And that's just Pie In the SKY, Kristyn. Attraction to your friend is perfectly natural. It is exciting, and it carries you away, as well as his feelings for you. He may well love you. But you think he's secular. No one is so secular you can count on him to understand you indefinitely. In fact, secular men aren't bound by convention anyway. Until he knows what Jesus Christ means to you and to your future, he would be just a grab-bag you're waiting to open.

Jesus will not discourage you from wedding-- depending on the benefits for both you and your friend. It may well be you can be his Catholic conversion coming to meet him! Isn't it so?

But whether we like it or not, Our Lord may give you NO encouragement. He may bar your way; be ready to accept that. Open your heart to Jesus, and make Him your Good Counsel''. He changes all of us, even the world, when He wills. Stand by His decision, His word. He definitely will make you aware, in something so life-changing. Don't walk on without Him. Pray and let your heart listen for His answer. Ciao, Kristyn, and God be with you.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), January 03, 2005.