I'm a Catholic man who was married to an Episcopal woman in an Episcopal church 18 years ago. We are divorcing amicably after 18 years of marriage, mostly due to just drifting apart. We had a long talk last night, and during this conversation, she told me that she had slept with another woman about 10 years ago. Would this be grounds for an annulment if I wanted to re-marry in the Catholic church in the future? If so, what is the process to get this annulment in place? Also, is refusal of sex by a spouse grounds for annulment? Our sex life was about 3 or 4 times a year, by her choice. I would've preferred that amount weekly.

-- Robert Davis (robd216@comcast.net), November 07, 2004

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Response to Re-marriage in catholic church after divorce

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Response to Re-marriage in catholic church after divorce

Infidelity, especially after years of marital faithfulness, does not constitute grounds for annulment in and of itself. However, marriage of a Catholic in a Protestant church does. Such a marriage is not recognized as valid by the Catholic Church. You need to speak to your parish priest about submission of your marriage to a tribunal.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), November 07, 2004.

Your marriage is still valid it isnt grounds for anullment, what you seek is a divorce even if there was infidelity it isnt grounds for an anullment.

-- Fr.Paul Keogh (keoghbo@hotmail.com), December 08, 2004.

Refusal to EVER have sexual intercourse is grounds for annulment. But if you were “drifting apart”, then to have intercourse 3 or 4 times a week would be acting out a lie, and would be not much more than selfish lust. Marriage isn’t a licence to demand sexual intercourse whenever you feel like it. It’s an institution to enable a man and woman to use intercourse as an expression of their unconditional love and unconditional self-giving. Instead of allowing her to “drift apart” from you, you should have worked on your marriage every day to bring it to the point where she WANTED to have intercourse as often as you. If you still love each other enough to “divorce amicably”, then you still have enough love to form the basis to work to rebuild your marriage.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), December 08, 2004.

Therein lies the problem:

If the Catholic Church at the level of the Roman Rota has declared that a marriage is a Sacrament the issue is moot, although under the possibility that there could be hidden information yet unknown to the Church which could alter the reality(a small but conceivable possibility)the issue is always open for review.

But!!!!

It is here where the Catholic Church is in grave, public error.

If either of the spouses or just one of the spouses refuses to make the choice to remove the impediment to resuming the Sacramental marriage, the Catholic Church is morally bound by its own theology, which it ignores daily, to bring its full authority upon those who remain in grave mortal sin by their refusal to honor their vows.

This is not a hidden sin. It is a public scandal. When the Catholic Church turns its back upon even one sacramental marriage it brings the judgement of God upon it.

That is the crux of the wrong with the tribunal system and it is the evil which is closely protected even by the Vatican. It and not abortion is the most pressing problem in the Catholic Church.

Strongly address protecting marriage and you, by the nature of marriage and the graces in marriage, will address the abundent evils of abortion, but the other tack does not follow.

It is a simple solution which the Catholic Church refuses to address at any official level----because the layity will not accept being told that infidelity is unacceptable and will result, if repentance is refused, in formal public excommunication even unto death without repentance. Droves of Catholics would leave the Church, as they really already do with their invalidly granted annulments in the United States. If any devout Catholic thinks that God honors the empty annulments granted in the U.S., they will on judgement day find they ARE sadly mistaken.

The Hierarchy of the Catholic Church, all of them, are just as responsible for the sins against marriage as those who violate their marriages themselves. If they are not their brother's keeper they are guilty as charged.

It does not matter what anyone thinks, on the final day of judement for an individual there will be many tears and untold lost souls for the failure of the leadership of the Catholic Church, who refuse to act to protect marriage and only talk about it, like John Paul II.

His words are salt in the wounds of those of us who are persecuted for his weakness and failure to protect marriage. May God grant us a courageous replacement for him and very soon. One who will act to protect marriage through excommunication.

Karl

-- Karl (Parkerkajwen@hotmail.com), December 09, 2004.