hi ppl

i have a problem and i hope you could help me out

i'm 16 and a year ago i was together with my ex girlfriend,her parents didn't want us to be together,and she wasen't allowed to go outside,to call with friends or to have a boyfriend she ran away from home and and her parents placed her the day after in a boarding school in a foreign country very far away

i dind't have any contact with her till yesterday although i tried everything to contact her

i talked to her yesterday on msn and i don't recognize her anymore

she doesn't to be with boys anymore,not only because her parents won't let her but that she said doesn't want too:s,she doesn't want to have sex anymore,(before totally the opposite)and she's now a 'good' girl and before that she was like a little obsessed with boys and was acting reckless all the time and did always stuff that were not allowed,made her parents angry and made fun with everything she could and i've always known her like that

she was acting very very strange,she forgot almost totally our language,and she was angry at me because i did some stupid things her brother(one year ago she would find it very funny what i did,about that i'm sure)while she got all these problems because he told her parents about us

i just don't get this,i was shocked and i still don't get this how a person can just become all the opposite of what she was before

my friends tell me that the very religious boarding school brainwashed her

i would like the ask your opinions about this,not about the situation between us or her and her parents,not who's right or who's wrong,but i just want to know what made her change that much and how,because i really don't get this

plz help me out with this

greets,

tom

-- tomasz (mol8882000@yahoo.com), November 25, 2004

Answers

Well, to start off with Tom, I am a foreign exchange student right now in Germany. So I can tell you from personal experience, that simply being away from everything you have ever loved for an extended period of time can really change you. I've grown up so much myself, since I came here in August. I also have forgotten a lot about English, that comes when you never hear it. It sounds weird, but it's true, I constantly stutter and forget English words, but can recall them perfectly in German. So many things that I used to think are funny are now childish, and so many things I used to thing are boring are now routine. Growing up sucks, but everyone has to do it, and going to a foreign country makes you grow up very quickly. I sincerely doubt, however, that she was brainwashed. I have a hard time believing that someone can be brainwashed if they don't subconsiously (sp?) want to be. Well, that's just my opinion, coupled with my experiences, but I'm pretty sure that your ex-girlfriend is more of a victim of time than of brainwashing

Peace

-- Cameron (shaolin__phoenix@hotmail.com), November 25, 2004.

Any idea what the name/location of the school is?

-- Roddy Pudding (roddy.pudding@hotmail.com), November 25, 2004.

tomasz,

With only knowing what you've told us, it sounds like your former girlfriend's parents did the right thing. If their actions resulted in her rejecting premarital sex and trying to be a "good" girl, then that's a good thing.

Such a transformation is indeed a form of brain "washing", that's what happens when the Holy Spirit comes into our lives and we reject our former sinful life and embrace the life of Christ - He (the Holy Spirit) wases us clean and renews our minds to accept and live holy. It sounds like you could use a similar transformation, repenting of sin and turning to God is not only good for this life, it's the only way to have eternal life with God.

David

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), November 25, 2004.

Dear tomasz,

Based on what you have said, it is hard to know exactly what made her change her attitude.

One possibility is that she has been learning about the value of chastity, the dignity of her body, the joys and responsibilities of authentic love, and the proper expression of her sexuality as a single young woman.

As a suggestion, you might want to learn a bit more about Catholic views on these subjects (love, sexuality) by checking out www.pureloveclub.com - At the very least, you will be able to understand what she might be learning and where she is coming from, and perhaps you might see the situation in a different light.

-- Fr. Terry Donahue, CC (terrydonahue@usa.net), November 25, 2004.

A human being, in the lower rung has a beast and, in fact, much lower than the beast like the devil (see the curse in Gen.3); and in the upper rung angel and much above angels, Jesus Christ (see Heb.1). We are all called to be like angels and enter to the perfection of Christ in holiness and purity. So, exert your desire and will be towards what is heavenly, holy, and Godly.

-- Leslie John (lesliemon@hotmail.com), November 26, 2004.

but i don't see how growing makes someone reject sex?

it should be right the opposite

thanks a lot for your comment anyway

-- tom (mol8882000@yahoo.com), November 27, 2004.

tom,

She's rejecting premarital sex and deciding (I assume) to wait for marriage before she again has sex. Sex outside of a married man and woman is a mortal sin that leads to eternal death. You don't consider premarital sex as bad? Have you had any education on what is sin and how we will be judged by God? Are you Catholic? I've never encountered someone who wasn't aware that premarital sex was bad and a serious sin.

David

-- non-Catholic Christian (no@spam.com), November 27, 2004.