Hello, my name is John and me and my fiancee are planning a wedding in february of 2006. I am a practicing catholic, but she isnt really any religion and is not intrested in becoming catholic at this time. But I was wondering what the procedures are for marrying a non catholic in the catholic church.

Also, the rest of my family are practicing Catholics as well, and my fiancee is not accepted by them... At all! I am aware they have there own rights, but is it right for them to completly reject my fiancee because she is not a Catholic?

One question that is so important to me. If my fiance and I get married with her being a non catholic, will we be able to both make it to heavin together?

Thank you for any answers I may receive.

-- John Schwinn (jschwind435@yahoo.com), January 10, 2005

Answers

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

Hello John.

I think it's always the best idea to marry someone of the same faith and the same values. Remember that this issue is not going to disappear--if God grants you children, you will have to choose how to raise them. And you would want your son or daughter to know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and the holy Catholic Church as the community in which He gives His grace. Wouldn't you? Isn't the eternal purpose of your children the most important thing?

And, is your fiance a Christian? Does she know and love Christ? If not--frankly--there is a problem as to whether you would share the same eternal destiny. Why would you want to marry someone who doesn't share your faith in Christ, and believe that He died and rose for her? I don't think that's a good idea. For a good marriage, you will want to share the same values--and especially the same faith.

-- Michael (edwardsronning@prodigy.net), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

She does beleive in all that, and we both mutualy agree on raising our children Catholic. She does not have any intrest in becoming Catholic at this time, but I firmly beleive she wil after we are married, if not before. She has alot of potential for being Catholic. I love this woman, and care about her and her soul. Thank you for your reply but you did not asnwer any of my questions.

-- John Schwinn (jschwind435@yahoo.com), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

Sounds not too hard. Depending on the diocese you live in, there is a six month or year notice time you have to give the priest before he would agree to officiate at your wedding. You'd want to talk to your local priest for those details. If she is willing to raise the children Catholic, it doesn't sound like a problem at all.

And only you can know whom God wants you to marry. Your family can give advice, but you are marrying her--not them. That is a boundary issue that your family must respect.

Personally, I'd say, if she is truly open to your faith, and not hostile, that shows good potential for her dear soul! Keep on praying for her, and love her in deed and in truth, in the hopes she will keep on welcoming the light. But I'd really hope she believed in and was willing to love God and Christ, as a basic foundation for your marriage, so you are on the same page and aren't "unequally yoked together".

Talk to a good priest. He'll be able to help you more than any of us on this forum.

-- Michael (edwardsronning@prodigy.net), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

By the way, John,

Your situation reminds me that St. Thomas More, in 16th century England, allowed his daughter Margaret to marry a protestant--a Lutheran young man by the name of William Roper. More refused to argue religion but did pray for "my dear son Roper", and in the end Roper did convert to Catholicism.

-- Michael (edwardsronning@prodigy.net), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

correct me if i'm wrong, but i was under the impression that there is no marriage in heaven.

-- rina (hellorina@aol.com), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

Thank you very much for the information. It is greatly apreciated.

Well I was actually under the impression that we dont know exactly whats in heaven, except for gold roads and diamonds.

-- John Schwinn (jschwind435@yahoo.com), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

You are wrong rina...

The biggest marriage ever--is to take place in heaven.., this is when Christ will marry His Bride, all of those who are His : )

-- (anon@anon.com), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

correct me if i'm wrong, but i was under the impression that there is no marriage in heaven.

rina,

If I understand your question correctly -you are correct in your assertion. Example: If one was married and became widowed then subsequently married again -who would be spouse in heaven? The answer would be no one as the Love and Unity in Heaven transcends that of marriage -all in Heaven would be in such a state....

-- Daniel Hawkenberry (dlm@catholic.org), January 10, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

thanks anon, but i knew that lol. daniel answered the question that i was really asking. i couldn't find that verse but he found it for me. i was really asking my question because of the statement made by the person who posted the original question...

One question that is so important to me. If my fiance and I get married with her being a non catholic, will we be able to both make it to heavin together? --john

i know a lot of catholics who think they will be married to their spouses WHILE IN HEAVEN. just wanted to know if that thinking came from the church itself or from misguided catholics.

-- rina (hellorina@aol.com), January 11, 2005.

Response to Marriage betweet catholic and a non catholic

Actually, I dont know if it is true not, that why i was asking! Even though she is married to me, but is not catholic, will she make it to heavin too?

-- John Schwinn (jschwind435@yahoo.com), January 12, 2005.

My understanding is that it depends on if she is willing to accept and obey God's grace in Christ, or not. Does she obey the will of God as she understands it? Is she willing to learn about Jesus and his Church and his wonderful gifts of the Sacraments, etc?

-- Michael (edwardsronning@prodigy.net), January 13, 2005.

I don't have an "answer" but more of a comment. I am not Catholic, I am a Christian who was raised Baptist. I am marrying a Catholic and I find it difficult to understand why there are so many rules. I believe in Jesus Christ and live my life accordingly. I do not however feel that it is necesary for me to convert for our marriage to be successful or "evenly-yoked". We have agreed that we will raise our children in the Catholic faith and perhaps, once I understand more of the Catholic religion, I will convert in the future. John, my comment to you is that I, being non-Catholic, do not believe people of other faiths are doomed to hell for all eternity. If your fiance has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, and lives accordingly she will find a place in heaven is saved for her. I am in the same situation as she, except that my future in-laws are gracious, amazing people who love me and respect my beliefs. I hope that your family can accept her as your wife. Good luck to you!

-- Lisa Stone (lmstone31@sbcglobal.net), January 20, 2005.

Richard Roper was a practicing Catholic who flirted for a time with Lutheranism. He was turned down by Thomas More when he asked for his daughter in marriage. --Later, after Roper returned to the Catholic Church More consented and they were married. They remained Catholics, and Roper wrote a short biography of his father-in-law after his martyrdom. That biography can be found on the Internet.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), January 20, 2005.

Dear Lisa Stone:
We respect your beliefs here too. But we disagree with this: ------ ''Being non-Catholic, I do not believe people of other faiths are doomed to hell for all eternity.''

They ARE doomed if they die in sin. The possibility of souls receiving forgiveness INDEPENDENTLY from Jesus is practically NONE. There can be an exception or two; but outside the Church it's unlikely. All of us are sinners, we know. But the Church Christ founded is where express forgiveness of all sin is to be found; not any other. --Outside the Church, a sinner is not forgiven; there is no grace. You say, ''If your fiance has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, and lives accordingly she will find a place in heaven is saved for her.'' If only this were so; how glad it would make our Christian brethren. But the proper way of accepting Jesus Christ is not OPTIONAL: it's in the Catholic Church and keeping the faith of the apostles ONLY.

I'm telling you not as a rebuff or rejection. It's to caution you about your erroneous belief. One that can bar your eternal salvation. Please give this your deepest contemplation. God WANTS you to be saved.

-- eugene c. chavez (loschavez@pacbell.net), January 20, 2005.

I don't understand. Are you saying that you must perform well in the Church to be saved and go to heaven? That contradicts the Bible which says in Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God not of works lest any man should boast. It is true that there is only one way to Heaven and that is through the God/man Jesus Christ's death, burial and resurrection. No matter what religion you come from you must believe that to be saved. Souls are definitely saved individually rather than corporately (John Chapter 3).

Thank you Jenny

-- Jenny Lynn (Jinx_30909@hotmail.com), February 18, 2005.