I am a chrisitan who doesn't really go to church and I am engaged to a Catholic who doesn't go to church unless it's a major holiday. We are getting married at a musuem by my youth minister which is what I have wanted since I was little girl. Can we also have a catholic ceremony later to make the future mother in law happy? Neither one of thinks it is necessary but he wants to make her pleased. Also do you have to be confirmed to be married by a catholic priest? Thank you.

-- (tmurray170@yahoo.com), February 08, 2005

Answers

yes you have to be confirmed to be married by a Catholic priest in a Catholic church. yes you may have a Catholic wedding ceremony after the first civil or protestant ceremony.

-- brian (brian@brian.com), February 10, 2005.

No you DON'T have to be confirmed, or even baptized, to be married by a Catholic priest to your Catholic fiance in a Catholic ceremony in a Catholic church. If you want to make your mother-in-law, your fiance, God, and ultimately yourself, "happy", you will not have sexual intercourse until after the Catholic wedding, even if you have some other ceremony earlier.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), February 10, 2005.

I'd like some clarification from Paul M on this one..my daughter was never confirmed and she was married in the Church..her husband at the time was not Catholic. She was confirmed years later. At the time of her marriage, I was very surprised that the priest told her that it was not necessary for a Catholic to be Confirmed prior to being married in the Church.

-- Lesley (martchas@hotmail.com), February 10, 2005.

Thank you Steve for your answer but I said nothing about sexual intercourse I think it very rude and inappropiate that you answer the question with that. I am not Catholic and I have different beleifs and you should respect them.

-- (tmurray170@yahoo.com), February 11, 2005.

Canon 1065 - §1. Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.

Canon 1127 - §3. It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with [1127] §1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial vows.

Steve, you are incorrect according to 1127 §3 above, they cannot plan to get married at one place then go to the Catholic church for another.

The best bet is to seek a dispensation from Canonical Form as regards the place of the marriage from the local Bishop. I doubt, however, that a museum would be deemd a "suitable place" (cf. Canon 1118 §2 & §3).

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 11, 2005.

I wasn’t trying to be rude. I know you are not a Catholic, that’s why I was just pointing out what Catholics like your future mother-in-law believe. If you sincerely want to make her happy you will do as I suggested. You will also be making your fiance happy. Sure he may say that he agrees with you now that he "doesn't think it's necessary", but it will gnaw at his conscience, in the future if not now, that he did not get married in the Church before consummating the marriage. This would make both of you “unhappy” in the long run and could even lead to the failure of your future marriage. I say this not to give offense but just to make you aware of the facts you should be aware of.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), February 12, 2005.