My husband and I are not married thru the church (have been married for 17 years). I am baptized, first communion, and confirmed and have taught CCD classes. Our two daughters have all their sacraments. My brother has asked me to baptize his child. When my other brother had asked me to baptize his son I asked my husband about getting married through the church but he said no. With my husband refusing to have a church marriage am I stuck not being able to baptize (I know that this indicates we have bigger problems then baptizing a child but one thing at a time) or is it worth speaking to the priest (does he have any say in allowing me to baptize)?

-- Rose (rlinan@elp.rr.com), February 08, 2005

Answers

Although in an emergency ANYONE (even an unbaptized atheist) can baptize someone, pre-planned Catholic baptisms may be performed only by a priest or deacon, unless permission is granted by a bishop for serious reasons (eg no priest or deacon is available) for someone else to do it. You would be unable to baptize your brother's child, regardless of whether or not your marriage is validated as a sacrament.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), February 08, 2005.

Rose,

I think what you are asking about is being a baptismal sponsor, or godparent. Is that correct? If so, the requirement of Canon Law is that a sponsor be "a Catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken". Your present marital situation, which the Church sees as cohabitation without benefit of marriage, could exclude you from that role.

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), February 09, 2005.

To have your marriage validated, you do not have to have get your husband to go to the church with you. All you need to do is go see the priest and ask to have your marriage validated, your husband doesn't even have to know about it. Before you go see the priest, have you or your husband ever been married before? That would throw a monkey wrench into things.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 11, 2005.

That is certainly news to me, Fr Paul. Can you give us the relevant section of Canon Law or other document which authorizes a Catholic marriage to be performed without the approval or even the knowledge of one of the parties to be married? It seems the antithesis of everything the Church teaches about the nature of marriage.

-- Steve (55555@aol.com), February 11, 2005.

Steve,

We are not talking about celebrating a marriage per sey, but validating one.

Canons 1156 - 1165 with special note of 1160 which says there is to be no "prejudice to the provision of can. 1127 §2."

In short, a new ceremony is required, but the Bishop can dispense of the Canonical Form because of the husband's refusal (can. 1160 re. can. 1127 §2).

All of this assumes that the husband's consent given at the original celebration persists, i.e. he does not take back his consent.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 12, 2005.

> "We are not talking about celebrating a marriage per sey, but validating one."

But, if this couple had applied for annulment, it would have been granted promptly due to lack of Canonical form. That annulment would amount to an official statement to the effect that there never had been a valid marriage. Therefore, how can the Church "validate" that which it would otherwise have said never existed?

-- Paul M. (PaulCyp@cox.net), February 12, 2005.

Paul M.,

Read what you just wrote! What is "validation" if it is not the making valid of what has been seen as invalid? IF you have a coupon or credit card or something that needs "validation", it is deemed "invalid" until such a time as it is validated, i.e. it becomes valid.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 13, 2005.

One more thing, a couple who wants an invalid marriage declared so because of Lack of Canonical Form is asking the Church to say "It's invalid because it lacked the proper Canonical Form."

A couple (or at least one of) who are/is in an invalid marriage because of Lack of Canonical Form and admits it but want(s) it validated are/is not asking the Church to declare something they/he/she know(s) and admit, they/he/she are/is asking the Church to Validate it, i.e. to make it valid.

-- Fr. Paul (pjdoucet@hotmail.com), February 13, 2005.