Hi

I have often struggled with the phrase 'Do not judge lest you yourself be judged'. At first I thought it might apply to everyone but later I was told we can judge other Christians.

Actually, first of all what does it mean to judge? For example I have a cousin who openly tells me about all sorts of girls who are his girlfriends, he'd tell me to hush hush about it when his one girlfriend was around.

Now say I get a conversation where the topic of my cousin and his relationships comes up where I might be asked if he's got a girlfriend. I don't feel comfortable calling him a womaniser because I think it might mean that I'm judging so I get kinda frustrated as to what I'm supposed to say.

If someone drinks constantly and checks himself to AA, am I still not allowed to call him/her a drunk?

Or does judging mean when I say 'You're a womaniser or drunk and you're gonna burn for it!' (haven't said that in case you start pointing fingers at me).

I want to do the right thing, I know I'm a sinner too.

God Bless

-- Anon (-dont@write.back), March 10, 2005

Answers

There is a difference between condmenign sin and condmenign a sinner.

what is meant b this verse is well known in Theological circles, btu is often abused by others who want to slence Chrisains. Liek in your example of your womanising cousin. He will sya to to judge him. However, notign that his actiosn are hurtful and disrespectful to women, and outright worng, will not judge him, but rather condemn his actions, wich we are calld to do, for we are called to rebuke sin.

we simpley cannot say we are beter than the sinners we condemn, and must try to lead holy lives ourselves.

-- ZAROVE (ZAROFF3@JUNO.COM), March 10, 2005.

---''Do not judge lest you yourself be judged''

The Christian is NOT to judge **Hypocritically or Self-Righteously** Study Matthew 23:13-39 to give yourself a better understanding of the thought process of the statement.

But as ZAROVE stated MANY will use this statement in order to silence a Christian (or others).

Afterall would you remain quite if someone murdered another? No!

Just don't point your finger in judgement and condemnation if you are out murdering yourself.

----"If someone drinks constantly and checks himself to AA, am I still not allowed to call him/her a drunk?"

If you were that person trying to improve yourself would you rather hear that, or actually words of prayerful hope and encouragement for you? Maybe the correct meaning is to show and speak compassion for that person.

Fact is we are ALL sinners but most sins are private so they are not seen in the manner of a drunk or other drug addict.

Since we have to use our hand to point a finger, maybe we should just turn it over and open it up to these people instead.

-- Michael G. (NoEmail@Nowhere.no), March 11, 2005.

Sorry about earlier about the part 'If someone drinks constantly and checks himself to AA, am I still not allowed to call him/her a drunk?'. It came out wrong, sorry.

What I meant is that if someone drinks constantly and it really affects their life negatively does it not mean that he is an alcoholic?

-- Anon (-dont@write.back), March 11, 2005.

In Catholic moral ethics, there are 3 things required for someone to make a proper judgment as to another person's MORAL culpability.

1) The act. 2) the circumstances. 3) the intent of the actor.

If you don't know all three factors, you can't judge whether or not the person is morally culpable of something wrong (or morally responsible for something good).

But you can, and indeed it's virtually natural that you do judge the rightness/wrongness of a visible act.

For example: difference between premeditated murder and accidental homicide.

The act: One person kills another. The circumstance: well, Joan came flying around the corner and pushed Jim off the platform into the on-coming Metro train, kiling him. The intent: Did Joan a)want to push Jim into the train, or was it an accident?

Until you discover what Joan was thinking at the time, you can't come to a moral conclusion of her moral state.

BUT YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN JUDGE that a bad thing happened: a man was killed.

-- Joe (joestong@yahoo.com), March 11, 2005.

"What I meant is that if someone drinks constantly and it really affects their life negatively does it not mean that he is an alcoholic?"

I understand. If your friend or loved one does have a valid problem from what you have seen and know, yes if and when the chance to intercede is available you should try to do so.

HOWEVER...

In a case like this it IS very important in how you approach and what or HOW you say something. You need to really present yourself as a non accusing friend and always in private. If you don't human nature will cause him to withdraw more and out of guilt in many cases increase the amount of drinking or drugs to drown out the pain they know that they are causing others.

Reaffirm that you ARE his friend and then simply and gently express SOME of your concerns slowly never preaching, unless he admits verbally you will not make any progress and if you attack or come on strong he will pull back and you will be s.o.l.

This is a time where letting your Eyes and facial expressions do most of the talking, Keep good FRIENDLY eye contact when possible. Don't expect anything at that time simply express some concerns, your friendship and willingness to help with anything he may need shake his hand to reassure your friendship and drop it at that point.

But from then on out whenever you see him shake his hand and look him square in the eyes and simply ask how things are going for him, and then give a reassuring nod.

Think of the actual importance of confessing to a priest-- Until people are able to admit their sins verbally, the risk of doing them again is MUCH MUCH higher, and if it is serious enough, out of guilt they will be inclined to repeat them and commit others feeling everything is lost already. They must verbally acknowledge them for maximum benefit of recovery.

I hope this makes some sense and is clear if not let me know and I will try to clarify.

-- Michael G. (NoEmail@Nowhere.no), March 11, 2005.